Elder Kyle Reynolds: FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF!

It was Labor Day here in Ecuador. A parade that took place right outside our house!

Hello Everyone!
Wow this week was long yet short. Definitely a hard working week that required a lot of depending on the Lord. I truly can testify that when we are on His errand, He will hold us up. There were various times where not only did I not have much desire to carry on...but also didn't have energy to do so! Something about this jungle air that just drains me. Definitely a miracle that I am still alive and able to write this email! haha. To be honest with all, I am a hypocrite ha. Let me give the background. So for the past 2 weeks I have been bumming it in the house. No not because I am lazy, but because I couldn't go out in the sun and the wind. It was a huge bummer because I couldn't even read, only talk to my companion. So I took to sleeping because fortunately the time went by much faster. I listened to talks and just sat there like a vegetable. Probably the worst 2 weeks of my entire mission. I was thinking that by the time I could work again, I would be dying to get out and work my tail off! And to some degree that was true...but that quickly wore off within an hour of much rejection from the people. I ended up feeling sorry for myself and asking why am I out here and will I ever enjoy missionary work again...I know so dramatic lol. I was constantly looking for excuses to not go out and not give it my all...which in my opinion is probably the worst thing. Maybe even worse than not doing it at all. But after a few days of sinking into this routine, I knew something needed to change or I would die. We were having companionship inventory and my companion said "You are a great missionary. One of the best companions I have worked with, but something is bothering you. Something is holding you back from being the best you can be." That struck me to the heart. I thought I was holding it all in pretty well and not showing weakness. He then asked "What is wrong?" I completely opened up to him and told him what all was happening in life and everything. Man, I love Elder Garcia. He then told me that he has experienced exactly what I was going through and wanted to go home. But then he talked to President Barlow and the most well known advice known to missionaries...OLVIDARSE DE SI MISMO...(FORGET ABOUT YOURSELF) I have always heard that and knew that was the key but when it was time to live it. That's where the ugly hypocrite side of me showed. I pondered throughout the week if I really was forgetting myself. If I really was serving a mission or was simply on a mission. If I was doing what Jesus Christ himself would do if He was here. If I was putting others above me and my problems. The spirit was super strong as to tell me very kindly yet firmly that No....I was not doing that. After the conversation and repenting of the selfish person I had been, I felt a new light. I felt a new motivation. I knew why I was here and why I was working. I think that's the most beautiful thing that one can realize and do. Find out the why. Because when we find out the why and really understand the why, we will quickly find the how...(the how to accomplish it). That's something from Elder Bednar. Life as a Latter Day Saint isn't convenient. I don't think it was ever suppose to be. But the moment we give our ALL, not leaving a little portion aside just in case we fail, the moment where we forget ourselves and serve others..that is when we find happiness. Ahhhh all of this sounds so cliche. And it is for a reason...because it works! I feel so dumb for not doing this all in the first place. But it's okay...we all learn one way or another haha. Once again I feel so much joy in the work. Life still isn't rainbows and daisies all the time but there is joy in everything we do. I love a quote by Ezra Taft Benson that says "The Lord works from the inside out. The world works from the outside in. The world would take people out of the slums. Christ takes the slums out of people and then they take themselves out of the slums. The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men who change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature." I am so grateful for the way the Lord works. May we all continue to change so that the world can benefit from our light. I love you all so much and thank you for your prayers. Stay strong. It's hard out there...but we are meant to succeed!
Elder Reynolds